I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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