Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
