Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
