p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize