What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
