His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
