dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
His nipple licking is glorious
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