homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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