if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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