marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
