i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
