forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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