would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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