wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You brought string cheese to the strip club
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Randomize
