oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
