everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
