He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
