Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
