Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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