I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
