hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
