you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
