that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
