Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize