Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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