she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
