He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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