He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
