i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
