Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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