I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
