Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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