watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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