There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
