Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
