Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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