yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
