found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
