I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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