i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
