God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
