youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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