hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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