You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
