he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
