Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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