She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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