Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
