Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
