I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Come on in and take your pants off
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