I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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