Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
