I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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