i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
