I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
