yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My vagina is very pro this idea
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
