I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
