gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
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