I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
