im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
