He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
do nipples grow back?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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