you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
our cab driver is having phone sex.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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