I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
