I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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