she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
