Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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