Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
