The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
