I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
